Musings on oneself

About a year ago, I had this wonderous moment of epiphany. It was as though my eyes opened and I finally saw what I had been, what I went through and what I had become.

And it made sense.

It was wonderful. It was amazing to realize that life had not been pointless, that troubles - although not ordained by a higher power, but allowed; and so used towards a greater plan - truly had obeyed the ancient clichè and made me a better person.

Now I come to a point where I wonder if it really was, because somehwere among the rush and the tears and the achievements of 2008, I seem to have lost myself again. A part of me yearns for a torturous couple of years to mould me back into the person I was, the person admired by so many, the person worthy of life.

I recall walking along a mountain path with him a little over a year ago. I recall telling him that some people aren't made for relationships. That it "cramps their style". That I think I am better off alone.

I fought to be right. I felt I had proved my point. Now I just wish I was wrong.

More than anything, I want to find myself more, I want to find answers to these conundra.

Interest's Sake

This blog will be anonymous - it is something I need desperately because notes on Facebook just don't cut it anymore and I don't always want the people there to read what I write. So my name is not important - nobody who knows me probably even comes to this site.

Here is what might be of interest:

• I am a January 1990-kid
• I am South African
• There are no lions in my backyard, I do have two cats and a dog and hamsters though
• I am leaving school soon - 4 exams left to write
• I love chocolate, my favourites being Beacons Caramel Biscotti Slab, M&Ms and Hershey's Kisses - in that order.
• Macaroni and Cheese is probably the best invention after chocolate
• Meat is not so cool and only to be eaten when force-fed
• Stir-fry is the one thing I cannot get down my throat

• I am liberal.
• I am fanatic about justice, equality and freedom - do not get in my way.
• My beliefs may be a bit odd sometimes, but they are driven by a sense of morality.
• I try to be a follower of Christ. It doesn't work so well sometimes, but I do try.
• "I am oddball" - I try not to care. Deal with it.

• The loss of culture in our world is one of the things I consider a greatest tragedy.
• Books are your friends!
• Regarding books and movies - I can't do the horror-thing.
• Otherwise, any good craftsmanship is appreciated. Even action and thriller, but I will always enjoy those that reveal society most, like historical stuff.
• With regards to music, anything besides house and heavy metal that tries to have good lyrics.

• I am going to change the world one day... watch me.